Inspiration can come from so many different sources. This morning I stumbled upon a podcast for Tripod Orange where Coach Pierre Svartman was talking about dreams. Lately I have been questioning if continuing as President of S.Au.S. is the right thing for me and my family. I know it’s the best thing for the organization but at what price? I have volunteered so much of my time and energy over the years. So many sleepless nights questioning my decisions. What if I should be doing something else to support my family. The work I do is extremely difficult because it is so emotional. Often times after one meeting I am totally drained. It would be different if the decisions I made at work didn’t directly affect my children - but they do.
I think up until now being President of S.Au.S. has been manageable. It’s been tough but I have found ways to stay sane and motivated. Lately I feel the magnitude of our future project might be too far out of my comfort zone and beyond the scope of my knowledge. S.Au.S. is looking to build a state of the art facility to run a day program for adults 21+ on the severe end of the autism spectrum. It comes with a start up price tag of 2 million dollars and then operational costs of $500 000/year. I know the need is there because currently there are NO SERVICES for this population. S.Au.S. has done the research and we have all the facts. The sad part is it might take the government another 10 years to get to where they are supposed to be on this issue. My son can’t wait!
I know that like any IRONMAN triathlete if I have the right coach, a plan and put in the work I will succeed. Let’s not forget that on our journey’s there are always the unforeseen. A bike crash, an injury or a family emergency. Similar to a triathlete there are so many uncertainties in the day center plan. It’s so hard to work with government? Can we do it without them? Can I take this responsibility on my shoulders? I imagine the days when I have to visit the building site under construction and think how much time it will take from the work I ready do. I can’t work more hours in a day. I have to stay healthy and sane in order to take care of my children. Now more than every they need me.
This morning’s podcast reminded me of a few things. It’s important to have DREAMS and to follow them. I am a dreamer. I always have been and always will be. I get it from my dad. I started the organization because my dream was to make space for my son in this world. As his mama bear I am ready to push, shove, kick and scream so he has access to the best life possible. Should I walk away from S.Au.S. and focus on my family? Sometimes I would love to but I can’t because I have a dream. That dream is to ensure my son has a life after he finishes school at the age of 21. I have to keep going so my daughter, doesn’t feel burdened by thoughts of having to take care of her brother one day. I have a dream and it feels as impossible as me competing in Ironman Kona – I am a fearful swimmer and I can’t let go on the big downhills on the bike.
The reason I keep going is because my dream doesn’t live in my head – it lives in my heart. The desire to create a future for my children and other families living the same reality is the essence of what keeps me going in my darkest hours.
Pierre had a dream to create his own triathlon club. He did it with the purest intentions to help athletes be the best they can be. I know Pierre and he is the real deal! He is passionate about what he does and the lucky guy loves what he does. The bonus is he has an incredible wife as a partner who helps in the business. They are a true power couple. Pierre has the ability to raise his athlete’s up. He knows how to read his athletes and knows what every single one is searching for. Our quest in triathlon is different from one person to the next. For me lining up and completing Ironman 70.3 Mt-Tremblant was my pinnacle yet my friend, Isabelle Leclerc is a two time Canada Man/Canada Woman finisher and she continues to strive for excellence in triathlon. I have recently admitted to myself that I am and probably and will always will be a runner first and continue to be a #wannabetriathlete
According to Pierre in order to succeed “you have to have a motivation to get there, you have to have a reason to continue and you have to have a plan. Also, that dream has to bring passion and it has to bring fear”. BINGO - These are the words that inspired me this morning. I could apply these words directly to where I have been in my head the last few months. Then he goes on to decipher the difference between a goal and a dream. Thank you Pierre and Eric (co-host) for reminding me that I have a dream and I know it’s big enough because it scares me!!!